Rabbi Shaya's Thoughts

Looking for a Good Job?

Thursday, October 28, 2021 - 2:20 PM

Recently, the economic news in our country is that the job market is full of job opportunities. Everywhere you go you see signs reading “We are hiring,” yet businesses cannot find people willing to work. Businesses are willing to pay more salary than in the past, yet some workers are not after only money, but after a job that will give them satisfaction. The flip side of those reports state that workers are saying; "If I am already going to go to work, I want to make a lot of money and fast." What is it about money and satisfaction? What is the connection between money and any transaction?

In this week’s Torah portion, Chayei Sarah, after Sarah dies, Abraham researches where to bury her. Abraham approaches Ephron the Hittite and offers to buy a parcel of his land. Ephron offers the land, which includes a burial cave for free -- as a gift. But Abraham refuses the gift—not only does he offer to pay him for the land, but he also uses the phrase “I will pay you in full.” The meaning of this phrase indicates that he is not looking for a deal or a discount, let alone a favor. He wants to pay the going rate, so that there should be no disputes whatsoever as to who owns this land going forward.

The lesson that we can take from Abraham is that although he could have easily taken the land as a gift—and even if he insisted on paying for it, he could have gotten a “good deal,”—he didn’t want that. His attitude was that we must put in the effort, we must earn what we acquire. When we receive something for free, or too easily, we don’t respect the thing that we have, and others don’t respect that the item is ours. Abraham wanted this specific burial land for his wife and for his family. He also wanted the Hittites not to challenge the ownership of the land in the generations to come.

Our generation can take a lesson from Abraham: When we put in the effort instead of looking for the easy way, the reward will stay with us for a long period of time.

The Inquisitive Child

Thursday, October 21, 2021 - 12:39 PM

Children can be very inquisitive. They often ask questions that adults don’t even think of. Not because they are so smart, or because their questions are silly, but because they simply see the world differently; they see the world through the purity of a child. Their curiosity is genuine, and if we just listen to their questions with sincerity instead of being annoyed by them, we can actually learn a great deal. As the famous idiom goes: From my students I learn even more than from my teachers (Ethics of the Fathers). This idea doesn’t only apply to older students, but to young children as well.

Here is a story for you. A five-year-old turns to his father and says, “Why did G-d appear to Abraham after his Brit Mila (circumcision) but He does not appear to me?” After a moment of contemplation, the father responds, “A Jew of ninety-nine years of age who circumcises himself is worthy of an appearance by G-d.”

In this week’s Torah portion, Vayeira, we learn that G-d visits Abraham on the third day after he was circumcised. The Torah portion then tells us more about Abraham’s life and his accomplishments. However, if we look deeper into the portion, we see that there is more than just this story.

This is what the father is addressing when he answers his son.

At ninety-nine years of age, Abraham was a very accomplished man. He had many followers. He was even wealthy. And when G-d commanded him to circumcise himself, he didn’t flinch. He knew that until this point in his life, he was incomplete. All his accomplishments were more self-centered than G-d-centered. Of course, everything that Abraham did was for G-d, but he was “stuck” in this world. In order for Abraham to elevate himself from this world and reach greater spiritual heights, he knew that he had to do something dramatic, but the idea of what to do couldn’t come from him, it had to come from G-d. Once G-d told him what that was, he acted swiftly.

G-d showed Abraham His appreciation by coming for a visit. This was not a casual visit; this was an acknowledgement that Abraham was on the road toward reaching great spiritual heights. His first success was a face-to-face meeting with G-d. However, it didn’t stop there--Abraham was able to change the world for the better. He had the ability to see the world in a different light, as the name of the Torah portion, Vayeira—“and He appeared”—indicates.

From this point on he traveled far and wide to teach about G-d. His goal was to make sure that people understood that G-d is present in this world in a real, tangible way.

Abraham become a complete person, and in the process, he worked hard to repair and complete the world, Tikun Olam.

The child in the story might have asked an innocent question, but the answer that his father gave him was far from simple. He let his son know that even at ninety-nine years of age, our responsibility to improve ourselves and to change the world around us is not over. For some, it has just begun. For those who do not tire, they are worthy of G-d appearing to them.

As the progeny of Abraham, we all have it within ourselves to change the world for the better. Let us not allow age to slow us down. Let’s get up and make a difference.

The Number Ten

Thursday, October 14, 2021 - 3:12 PM

There is an ongoing debate as to the value of walking 10,000 steps a day vs. just 7,000. Developing research tells us that the original recommended number, 10,000 steps, was more of a marketing gimmick than a scientific conclusion, but 7,000 steps is a real number. So we must ask the question, why did they promote the number 10,000?

In other areas as well, we have a similar ongoing conversation of seven vs. ten. We have the seven days of the week, yet many business advisors will tell you that if you want to be more productive, you should set yourselves up with a ten-day cycle of productivity.

What is the deeper meaning behind the number ten that keeps drawing us to it?

In this week’s Torah portion, Lech Lecha, the midrash teaches us that Abraham was such a great man that he was able to harness the good of the ten generations before him. However, Noah, who we learned about in the previous portion, was not able to do so.

Again, here we see the power of the number ten.

To appreciate the significance of the number ten, we have to first understand why Abraham was able to elevate the ten generations before him, while Noah was unable to do so.

In our lives we must recognize that there are things that can be changed and there are things that cannot be changed. As much as we want some things to be better, some we just must let go. This is not a sign of failure, but a recognition of this fundamental truth.

On the other hand, when things are in our control to fix, to make things better, we have to do our utmost to do so. We should not look for excuses and say that we did our best, but truly work hard to reach perfection.

Ten is a complete number. True, the research proves that 7,000 steps “do the job,” but no one will argue that 10,000 steps are better.

In life it is the same way. What we cannot do, we cannot do. But what we can accomplish, we should, and not rest until we reach the top. Let’s go for ten!

Positive Reinforcement

Thursday, October 7, 2021 - 10:58 AM

Americans tend to pride themselves with being straight shooters. We don’t like adding too many extra titles to people, we don’t usually laud people with complimentary praise after their name is announced in public. or while writing a formal letter. That is old school, we say. In the olden times, when we addressed a king or a queen we would say your majesty, your highness and long live the king! Even today, proper etiquette when addressing a member of the royal family would be to say your majesty, or your duchess, then mention the level of rank, in addition to bowing your head.

When we call upon the president, we just say the President of the United States, no bells and whistles. Generally, we don’t add on any more titles, such as Commander-in-chief; we are definitely not accustomed to finishing off with a blessing of long live the president.

Which makes us wonder, how should we treat others in our life, at least in our private life. Is the more formal way better or the more casual way better?

Let’s look at this week’s Torah portion Noach for some insight. As the Torah introduces Noah to us it says: These are the offspring of Noah – Noah was a righteous man in his generation, he walked in G-d’s way - He had three sons…. Why does the Torah take a break while telling us who his offspring was to tell us that he was a righteous person? Seemingly that is out of place.

From here we learn that when we mention a person of importance, we should add a compliment.

Complimentary talk is not just some flowery way of expressing ourselves, or for that matter a way of kissing up to someone, it is much more than that. It reveals in the other person qualities that may have not been totally obvious, or perhaps may have even laid dormant.

This is the reason why it is so important to always compliment our children, spouses, friends, and colleagues, for by doing so we reveal within them their full potential.

When we tell someone thank you for tackling a difficult problem at home or work, we are essentially telling them that they have the ability to solve problems; this encourages them to tackle another difficult task and then one more after that. If on the other hand, we take all the credit all ourselves for solving the problem (even if we did most of the heavy lifting) we missed the opportunity to persuade them to take on the next challenge.

Take the famous Jewish expression: Until one hundred and twenty years. This is a blessing that we wish people for good health. When we tell this to an older person, we are telling them that they look young and healthy, that we have confidence in their health so too should they have confidence in themselves.

Positive reinforcement is an important tool that we should embrace at every opportunity.

Look for them, they work!