Human nature is very interesting.
People are so good at giving advice, yet so bad at taking it. We often have an answer to everyone else’s problems. We easily see how others should think before they act. Yet, when it comes to our own lives, many of us allow our emotions to get the better of us, and we act before we think.
In this week’s Torah portion, Shoftim, we learn about the commandment to appoint a king over the Jewish people. The Torah presents it this way: “…and you say, ‘I will set a king over myself, like all the nations around me,’” and the Torah continues with instructions about how this should be implemented.
However, if people are so bad at taking advice and direction, why would we want a king telling us what to do?
As much as we may not like being lectured to, we also recognize that we have blind spots. We can rationalize our decisions and convince ourselves that what we want is actually what is best for us. Sometimes, the person standing in our own way is ourselves.
Perhaps this is part of the Torah’s wisdom in the mitzvah of appointing a king. It teaches us that independence, while valuable, has its limits. There are times when we become better versions of ourselves specifically because we choose to listen to someone whose judgment we trust.
Although we do not have a Jewish king in our times, we can still apply this idea to our own lives. We should choose not a ruler, but a guide: a trusted mentor, an inspiring rabbi, or a wise friend. Someone who knows us well, whose judgment we trust, and, perhaps most importantly, someone we are willing to listen to… even when we don’t necessarily want to hear what they have to say.
We may not know who that person should be. But this week is a good time to think about it.
As we approach the High Holidays, a time when we look inward and take an honest accounting of our lives, perhaps we should ask ourselves a simple question:
Who is my king?
Just as the Jewish people recognized their need for a king and actively sought one out, perhaps we too should recognize our need for a guide and actively seek one out.
Don’t be shy. Find your guide.
Shabbat Shalom and may you be blessed with a happy year.
