Rabbi Shaya's Thoughts

A Tranquil Life

Wednesday, November 28, 2018 - 2:21 PM

Have you ever wondered why when you are finally at a point when you just want to relax after finishing a project at work, or reaching a milestone in life, or when you have simply reached a point in life when you want to retire, you find that there is still something calling on you to do? You think to yourself, why can’t someone else do it? How come this cannot be someone else's problem? Why me?

The interesting thing is that when we embrace that new, unwanted challenge, we not only end up doing a good job at it, we do a better job than even we expected of ourselves.

Why is that so?

Let’s first look at this week’s Torah portion, at the story of Jacob when he was an old man. He had many challenges in his life and he finally had the opportunity to settle into a relaxed life with his family. He was a happy man. What seemed to him a short while later, his beloved son Joseph was killed. He found out in subsequent Torah portions that Joseph actually lived, and became the viceroy in Egypt, so Jacob and his other children joined him in Egypt at a time when life – at first – was very good, and when Jacob himself said, the times were the “best of his whole life.”

Let’s take a closer look at Jacob’s life.

At this point in his life, we might think that he was entitled to start winding down a bit. Yet, what ended up happening was that he became even busier, accomplishing tasks. He did not retire. He had asked G-d for a blessing that he could sit in tranquility. This does not mean sit in retirement and drink tequila by the pool. What he meant by his request was that he should be able to accomplish his tasks in this world without worries.

Although his blessing request was fulfilled for a short time, Jacob suffered a prolonged burst of pain with the absence of his beloved son Joseph. When they finally did reunite in Egypt, Jacob went into overdrive and set up a Jewish community there that flourished.

Jacob took his pain and turned it into gain.

This is a lesson here for all of us. It is never a good time to stop working. There is a reason why every project, job, or responsibility that comes our way, came to us—perhaps because we are good at it, or maybe just because the job was meant for us to do. Either way, we should embrace it as our life’s mission and do our best at it.

Three Reasons to Give Thanks

Wednesday, November 21, 2018 - 9:26 AM

When families get together to give thanks, there is a high probability that three topics will come up in conversation: health, wealth, and G-d.

We all want to be healthy and wealthy for reasons that need no explanation. We want G-d to be there for us when we need to call on Him, so we give Him appropriate mention as well. However, we should be asking ourselves, is that really what is asked of us?

Let us take a lesson from this week’s Torah portion and Jacob’s life.

During Jacob’s travels he overcame large obstacles in life; as examples, his brother Esau and his uncle Lavan tried to swindle him at every turn. Yet he outsmarted them and at a later point in his life, he finally felt “complete” in life.

He had his health in his old age. It may be true that he had been hurt, but he healed. However, true healing means understanding that even when he was hurt, that pain was part of his growth. This appreciation only comes with age, and that is why only in old age could he say that he was “complete.”

He also had wealth. It is true that he gave away much of his wealth to his brother in order to save his life, and for this he could hold a grudge, yet he didn’t. He saw the bigger picture. He understood that all of his wealth was a gift from G-d, so even if he had to give away part of it, it was never meant to be his to begin with.

Jacob also had strong faith in G-d, and not the kind where he turned to G-d only when in need.

Jacob didn’t live the kind of life where he kept G-d in the sanctuary and kept his personal life, personal. Jacob realized that having faith in G-d meant incorporating being Jewish into everything that one does. Every action, whether in business or preparing a turkey for Thanksgiving, can be, and should be, a G-dly action.

Jacob understood this and that is why he said that even though he was not able to put in hours of actual Torah study, he did incorporate the teachings of the Torah in everything that he did.

The lesson for us is clear. We, too, have to see all of our trials and tribulations as part of our growth; see our charity, or charitable acts, not as a cost but as the right thing to do; and incorporate our Jewishness into everything that we do.

Riding The Waves Of Life

Thursday, November 15, 2018 - 5:24 PM

Where do you expect to find holiness? In the synagogue or in the workplace?

On the one hand, one would expect to find spirituality in a spiritual place. After all, that is where you can shut off the outside world and concentrate on G-d and “holy thoughts.” However, if you think about it, is that what Judaism is all about, being secluded in a sanctuary? Or is Judaism about tikkun olam, about perfecting the world?

Tikkun olam is not about planting trees! That is a misinterpretation of the words. Tikkun olam means bringing G-d into our day-to-day living. It means that G-dliness should penetrate everything that we do, including while we plant a tree, while we sit at a desk working, or while we shop at the store.

Imagine every time someone asks you how you are doing, you answer, “Thank G-d!” By doing so, you are bringing G-dliness into this world. It is such an easy act to do, and this is how we bring the “sanctuary” into our lives, whenever and wherever we are.

We learn this lesson from this week’s Torah portion when Leah names her child Zevulon. Zevulon is Leah’s sixth son, which makes her the mother of the progenitors of half of the tribes. With this son’s birth, she feels she has anchored her husband, Jacob, who is considered a “man of the tent” (for sake of our conversation, we will call him the man who stays in the sanctuary) into her home. However, Zevulon grows up to be a very successful businessman, with fleets of ships, a man of commerce. How does Zevulon, the exact opposite of Jacob, anchor him?

That is exactly Leah’s point.

Leah is here to teach us that Judaism is not meant to stay only in the synagogue. It is meant to sail across the ocean, into our day-to-day lives! The more we can ride the waves of life, the more the Torah can penetrate our day-to-day living in the “real” world, and the more meaningful Judaism becomes to us.

This is the deeper meaning of tikkun olam. We repair this world by anchoring the Torah into our daily lives.

Happiness Leads To?

Friday, November 9, 2018 - 10:24 AM

If being kind to another person makes you happy, does being happy turn you into a kind and giving person?

Before you answer, let me share with you a thought.

When a child does an act of kindness toward their parent, there could be duplicitous motivation—at the same time that it is a kindness, there is a desire for a certain closeness that underlies that act, and is the impetus for the act. You want to be close, hence the kind behavior. In a sense, this is selfish.

On the other hand, when an employee does a kind act for their employer, it is more an act of humility than an act of love. It is the restraining of one’s ego much more than a show of affection, as one would see with the child to a parent. In a sense, this is a selfless act.

We see that not every action, although it may be kind, is the same; some actions are ego-driven while others are humility-driven.

What feeling does happiness solicit from us?

When we are in a truly happy mood, we are not thinking about ourselves but about the other person, regardless of whether it is our parent, friend, colleague, or boss. This is the beauty of being happy. We are in the mood of self-restraint, in the sense that we are restraining our ego and making space for others; that is why we feel so “loose,” because we are allowing ourselves to shine.

Although it is true that being kind to others makes us happy, being happy truly allows us to be giving to others, in a greater way.

We learn this idea from Isaac in this week’s Torah portion.

On the one hand he is known for his attribute of “restraint,” which on the surface sounds like the opposite of “kind.” Yet his name also means “happiness,” which has the connotation of being kind. However, once we understand that happiness leads us to restrain our ego, which leads us to be kind, we start to have a different picture of whom Isaac was.

Isaac has only one Torah portion dedicated exclusively to him. On the surface it might not look so exciting or full of action. That is because when one keeps their ego in check, one remains quiet and humble.

Isaac was humble and happy and the lessons he taught us remain with us.