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ב"ה

Rabbi Shaya's Thoughts

Compartmentalizing Our Lives

In many ways, being able to compartmentalize the different aspects of our lives is very helpful. Going to work and focusing on our job because we have left our personal issues at the office door, can be quite advantageous. Even more important is the reverse—when we come home from work and leave our work issues at the office, that brings us peace of mind at home.  And in today’s connected world it is a bit more challenging, although there are many apps and techniques to help us do so.

 

However, we can challenge this way of thinking, because in many aspects of our lives, separating one aspect from the next can actually be detrimental to our wellbeing and to our families. For example, we should not ignore our health during the day and say that we will take care of it over the weekend, or ignore our children’s events at school because we are too busy at work, etc. We must learn how to integrate these facets of our life into our day-to-day living.

 

In this week’s Torah portion, Balak, the Jews are about to enter the land of Israel. They are at the brink of fulfilling their dream of the last thirty-eight years—and they hit a stumbling block. They start to worship idols, Baal-Peor. What happened? How is it possible that from such a spiritual high they can fall so low?

 

One answer can be found in the Haftarah of this week.  It says there was a disconnect between the Jews’ faith in G-d and their commitment to the Mitzvot, and their connection to the physical world: They compartmentalized their lives to the extreme.

 

One of the fundamental principles of Judaism is that we cannot and should not separate our spiritual and mundane lives from each other. Not only are they connected, but they are also intertwined with each other, to the point that in essence, they are one and the same.

 

By way of analogy, imagine a couple living together who doesn’t share the same bottle of milk. What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours. Such a compartmentalized life is asking for disaster. Not only should the milk be shared, but it should not be measured either. Every aspect of the couple’s life is a shared life. In a happy marriage, there is no splitting between the spiritual and the physical. Between his and hers. Everything belongs to everyone. 

 

In our relationship with G-d, we too, should view our daily lives the same way. Our connection to G-d should not stop after we finish our morning prayers and then we start off “our” day, and then we reconnect with G-d once we are ready to do so later in the day. Every moment of the day should be braided, connected, and holy.

 

When we are in this kind of zone, we don’t mess up, and our faith and trust in G-d is rock solid.

Moving On

One of the most difficult things to do in life after the passing of a loved one is to move on. We want the person to stay with us forever. We miss their teachings, their talents, their wisdom and advice, and specifically, the unique contribution that they brought to the family and to our lives. Yet, we know that life continues on, so how do we cope? Do we find a new father or mother and adopt them as our new parent? If it is a leader who has passed away, do we just replace them with a new leader and make believe nothing happened? 

 

In this week’s Torah portion, Chukat, we learn of the passing of Aaron, the High Priest.  While Aaron was alive, the Jews were sheltered with the clouds of glory that served both to protect them and as a sign of honor and respect. 

 

Then what happened after Aaron died? Did the clouds return? 

 

On the one hand, it seems like they didn’t since we don’t see the Jews complaining, as they did when the source of water stopped after Miriam’s death, asking for the return of the clouds. On the other hand, they needed the clouds to protect them and guide them as they continued to travel through the desert. 

 

Our sages teach us that some clouds returned in honor of Moses, but not all. Those that were necessary returned. But those that were only there in Aaron’s honor, did not return. 

The reason given for this was so that the Jews could learn how to live without the benefits of their beloved Aaron after he passed on, as they would come to learn after the passing of Moses as well.  

 

As much as the Jews loved Aaron - the Torah tells us that the whole community mourned him for thirty days! -  it was not easy to just move on and replace him. Moses was not replaceable. No one is replaceable. Nor should we try to replace someone we love. However, it is important to learn how to live our lives after someone is no longer physically with us. 

 

This past week marked twenty-eight years since the Rebbe’s passing. The Rebbe left us many teachings and lessons, and guidance for our lives. At the same time, we should know that just as Moses hoped that the Jewish people would thrive after his passing, the Rebbe hoped for the same. 

 

Our loved ones want the same from us—to learn how to take the lessons that we have learned and continue to grow and thrive, even after their passing. 

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