What happens when you as a parent want to bless your child, but you are really disappointed in something that your child has done in the past, something that really is unforgivable? Everything else about the child is good. What do you do? You can’t ignore the past bad deed, but you also want to acknowledge the positive. How do you balance it all out?
You send a hint.
Jacob, in this week’s Torah portion, Vayechi, had this exact challenge when it came to blessing his children Shimon and Levi. Jacob was on his death bed giving his last blessing to each of his twelve sons, but when it came to Shimon and Levi, he couldn’t forget how they brutally killed all the males in the whole city of Shechem. True, their intention was to save their sister, Dina, (after she was violated by their prince, Shechem himself), but they did make a treaty, and even more so, was the whole city guilty by extension? With one sentence chastising these two sons, Jacob delivers a powerful message and teaches us a lifelong lesson.
Jacob says, "Out of anger you have killed a person …" Wait a minute, didn’t they kill all the men in a whole city? If it would have been just one person, might Jacob have forgiven them? Maybe. Therefore, we must conclude that Jacob was saying either that they killed the men of the city so swiftly because their anger didn’t subside (and they didn’t get tired of the hard work) until they killed everyone, or that they felt that everyone was guilty as a unit, as if they were all one.
With this one statement, Jacob is also giving them a compliment—although he cannot bless them—and this is where the lesson for us lies.
Jacob is saying: Look, I might be upset at you for what you have done. We made a treaty not to harm the people of Shechem, so long as they converted (i.e., the men would be circumcised); then we would marry them and they would marry us; we would not look back and we would all get along. However, you made me look bad. But I still want to look at the positive lesson in all of this. You had a passion to defend your sister, you didn’t let your energy subside until you finished the job. Or better said, your energy took you over, to the point where everyone became one person. They all merged into one. You believed in something, and you carried it out until the end. The process took on a life of its own.
Now imagine, Jacob is hinting to his children, Shimon and Levi, or many years later, you and I, that same drive to do good. Even if in the beginning we might be motivated by some personal gain, once we start rolling, our action picks up speed and it takes on a life of its own to the point that it cannot be stopped. It becomes a force of its own. How much can we accomplish? That good cannot be stopped. It gets all wrapped up into one; we forget who even gets credit for it, nor do we care, because all that we want is that outcome to be accomplished.
Many people become one. Many deeds become one. We all become stronger.