Often we feel that we are being pulled in many directions, and at times in opposing directions. One may question themselves by asking: Am I normal? What is it with me that I am being pulled in opposite paths at the same time?
When we do question ourselves, we need to know how to respond.
For starters, it is important to keep in mind that we are not alone. Not only do many human beings experience the same kind of thing as you, it is ingrained in our collective DNA.
This week’s Torah portion, Bechukotai, starts off with blessings—if we fulfill the will of G-d—and then it gives us some very strong warnings if we don’t. This seesaw of positive and negative is prevalent in the portion of the week.
As an example, one verse says, “I will walk with you upright.” What does “upright” mean?
Will G-d lift us up? Or will we be expected to lift ourselves up, and when we do, G-d will be there at our sides?
One way to explain this is with the famous verse that adorns many a synagogue today, and was the reason why the Temple was built in the first place. “Build for me a Temple so that I can dwell within it.”
Let’s take a moment to reflect on this verse. G-d is telling us two opposite things at once. A- “Build for me a Temple …” This is the job for we human beings to do, which means that it will be accomplished with our minds, our limitations, and our successes. The achievement will come only through our initiation. However, B- “…so that I will dwell within it.” This part of the verse is talking about G-d. This is not dependent on us, but on G-d. It is up to G-d to decide if He wants to accept our efforts as satisfactory or not. True, the Temple is a building, but our views and G-d’s view are not the same. To us it looks like a structure that we, as humans, built. To G-d, it is a home in which He chooses to dwell.
To use Kabbalistic terms: To us the Temple represents our initiation from below, a lowly world, to a higher, more spiritual place. For G-d this is a Temple that He, in the most spiritual, highest of places, comes down to, this low, worldly place.
As we see, all of us experience this pull in many directions frequently. The challenge of life is to harness this feeling and utilize it to serve our Creator.
We should not permit ourselves to get distracted by the world around us. In fact, it is just the opposite: When we elevate our world, G-d will do His part and come down and help lift us up so that we can unite heaven and Earth, and then we will see that all these distractions are just annoyances that get in the way of our road to achieve our life goals.