One of the most difficult things to do in life after the passing of a loved one is to move on. We want the person to stay with us forever. We miss their teachings, their talents, their wisdom and advice, and specifically, the unique contribution that they brought to the family and to our lives. Yet, we know that life continues on, so how do we cope? Do we find a new father or mother and adopt them as our new parent? If it is a leader who has passed away, do we just replace them with a new leader and make believe nothing happened?
In this week’s Torah portion, Chukat, we learn of the passing of Aaron, the High Priest. While Aaron was alive, the Jews were sheltered with the clouds of glory that served both to protect them and as a sign of honor and respect.
Then what happened after Aaron died? Did the clouds return?
On the one hand, it seems like they didn’t since we don’t see the Jews complaining, as they did when the source of water stopped after Miriam’s death, asking for the return of the clouds. On the other hand, they needed the clouds to protect them and guide them as they continued to travel through the desert.
Our sages teach us that some clouds returned in honor of Moses, but not all. Those that were necessary returned. But those that were only there in Aaron’s honor, did not return.
The reason given for this was so that the Jews could learn how to live without the benefits of their beloved Aaron after he passed on, as they would come to learn after the passing of Moses as well.
As much as the Jews loved Aaron - the Torah tells us that the whole community mourned him for thirty days! - it was not easy to just move on and replace him. Moses was not replaceable. No one is replaceable. Nor should we try to replace someone we love. However, it is important to learn how to live our lives after someone is no longer physically with us.
This past week marked twenty-eight years since the Rebbe’s passing. The Rebbe left us many teachings and lessons, and guidance for our lives. At the same time, we should know that just as Moses hoped that the Jewish people would thrive after his passing, the Rebbe hoped for the same.
Our loved ones want the same from us—to learn how to take the lessons that we have learned and continue to grow and thrive, even after their passing.