Disciplined people don’t need excessive controls in place to make sure that they are productive. However, if you are a less disciplined person, keeping a tight schedule can be very helpful to stay focused and goal oriented.
Let’s take work for example. Most of us are not so disciplined as to keep to our to-do list perfectly, which is why there is a huge industry instructing us how to do so best. The point is that creating an external control system can be helpful to us.
The question for us is, What kind of person do we want to be? A person who is disciplined and doesn’t need external controls, or a person who is more fluid, and uses external oversight so that everything gets done on time?
This topic is addressed in this week’s Torah portion, Matos, which discusses the idea of taking an oath for the purpose of self-improvement, and how to annul the oath once the mission has been accomplished.
The larger issue that needs to be addressed is, why would someone want to take an oath, or make a binding resolution, to do (or not to do) something that is permitted to them? What is the motivating factor?
The Torah is referring to an oath taken by a person who wants to become closer to G-d. Within this category there are three consecutive levels. You must achieve one to move to the next.
1 - The person who wants to make a strong commitment to reconnect makes a resolution to do something good.
One example might be about a worker who has a hard time getting to work on time, so they make a resolution to arrive five minutes early. Although on the surface this looks great, every day they show up five minutes early, but in truth it is a sign of weakness, i.e., it is clear that this person has a tendency to come late. The ideal goal would be to train themselves to come on time, and then the need to come early, or at least to have this “oath/resolution" hanging over their head, be removed.
On a spiritual level this means to say that we are putting on training wheels with the intention of taking them off. In essence, the oath is meant to be temporary.
2 – You have trained yourself to become more productive – you come to work on time. Now it is time to conquer other areas in your life by improving them. However, now that you have learned how to do so, this time around you are able to accomplish those without a promise, because you have trained yourself to self-motivate.
Spiritually speaking, the goal of the initial oath was not to tie you down, but to inspire you to journey on a positive path. Now that you are on that trajectory you are doing well. But there is still the need to be extra cautious.
3 – Once you have created an environment of success, a culture of discipline, and a spirit of entrepreneurship in your attitude toward life, you can be more fluid. Of course you still follow the rules, but you don’t have to be so rigid. Happiness and contentment kick in.
Our sages teach, “It is enough what the Torah forbids, there is no need to add to that list.” Once we reach the level where we know who we are, we are disciplined enough to know our strengths and weaknesses, the external pressures that we had placed on ourselves to reach higher are no longer necessary, as we are already there.
As we master the skill of balancing our lives in a disciplined fashion, let’s enjoy the fluidity that it provides for us.