There’s a well-known saying that your honeymoon should never end. Others express this sentiment differently, suggesting that one should remarry their spouse three times throughout
their life. These phrases carry profound wisdom beyond the obvious. If love and care are present in a relationship, what more is there to strive for? Certainly, we should never grow
weary of nurturing our bond—but why the emphasis on three times? Perhaps it should be even more?
Judaism offers a powerful teaching rooted in this week’s Torah portion, Vayigash: “Kol Yisrael arevim zeh b’zeh,” meaning, all Jews are responsible for one another. This principle emerges
from the story of Judah pledging to his father that he will act as a guarantor for his brother Benjamin on their journey to Egypt.
What exactly does it mean to be a guarantor? And why is this concept significant?
To fully grasp this idea, let’s revisit its origin. When someone borrows money, they often require a guarantor to reassure the lender that the debt will be repaid if the borrower cannot
fulfill their obligation.
There are three ways to interpret such a commitment:
1. The guarantor assumes financial responsibility. If the borrower fails to repay, the guarantor covers the debt.
2. The guarantor acts as a stand-in for the borrower. It’s as though the guarantor themselves took out the loan.
3. The guarantor and borrower are viewed as one entity. They share an inseparable connection, akin to partners in the obligation.
This concept can be likened to our own bodies. Should we prioritize the health of one part to safeguard another, or is the relationship more interconnected? Whether it’s your foot or your
head, it’s all part of you. On an even deeper level, there’s no distinction—each organ is intrinsically part of your being.
When applied to meaningful relationships, especially between spouses (though it extends to
many commitments), this idea unfolds in stages:
1. The initial phase involves two individuals who pledge to support each other. They promise to have each other’s backs but remain distinct entities.
2. The second phase sees one partner stepping in for the other when needed. The relationship evolves beyond ensuring good outcomes; it becomes a shared endeavor.
3. The highest phase transcends individuality. The connection deepens to a point where the two are no longer separate; they are united as one.
This progression mirrors the “remarriage” concept, symbolizing the transformative stages of a relationship as it matures and deepens.
These ideas resonate not only in marriages but in friendships and even more so, in our relationship with the Divine. They remind us of that commitment, when nurtured, it will evolve
into a bond of profound unity.
May this year bring meaningful connections and deeper relationships in all aspects of life.
Shabbat Shalom!
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