You got what you wanted. The person agreed. The message landed.
And yet, there’s that urge to say just a little more. To explain, to justify, to make it sound better.
As a Rabbi, I’m guilty of this. How often does a point land in a sermon, clear and strong (I hope) and still, I feel the need to go on? How often do we say, “In other words,” when the original words were perfectly clear?
Sometimes, the truest thing we can do … is stop talking.
We see this lesson in this week’s Torah portion, Chayei Sarah, when Eliezer, Abraham’s servant, travels to find a wife for Abraham’s son, Isaac. The story tells how miracles led him to the right girl, Rebecca. When Eliezer shared these miracles with Rebecca’s family, they were enthusiastic, and eager to send her off to marry Isaac. To sweeten the deal, Eliezer offered gifts to Rebecca’s family.
But right before she was about to leave, there was a shift, a change of heart. Lavan, Rebecca’s brother, hesitated. “Maybe she should stay here for another year,” he suggested. Eliezer argued with him, trying to convince him not to ask her to wait.
The commentators point out that there must have been a reason why Lavan argued to slow everything down. But then Lavan said, “We can’t decide without asking the girl first.” Logical! But why didn’t he say that at the beginning of the argument? Why agree so quickly, only to backtrack?
Here we uncover a fascinating insight.
At first, Rebecca’s family had no doubt that she’d want to go. After all, the miracles were so clear. But once Eliezer started offering gifts, something changed. Something began to feel… off. Insincere. If the signs were so obvious, why was Eliezer trying to sweeten the deal? What was meant as kindness and reassurance ended up backfiring.
From this, we learn a powerful lesson: When we speak truth, when something is real, there’s no need to dress it up. No need to over-explain or oversell. Less is more.
For example: when we say Am Yisroel Chai, “The Jewish People live,” there’s nothing more to add. It simply is.
Shabbat Shalom
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