How should we react when our child does something very wrong? Our love for them knows no bounds, but we cannot ignore what they have done. There is a familiar saying, “Don’t hate the sinner, hate the sin.” This is not easy to do, and even if we want to see it that way, how do we internalize this idea so that we live by it?
In this week’s Torah portion, Emor, we are introduced to the concept of the death penalty. The Torah describes four methods: by strangulation, by stoning, by sword, and by burning. After the death penalty is implemented, the body is then hung on a tree, but only for a very short time, and is then given a proper burial.
At first glance, this seems not only ritualistic, but also difficult to understand. If the person is already dead, why hang them on a tree? If they must be hung, why specifically from a tree? And even if that is required, why are they taken down quickly?
There must be a deeper message.
The Torah is teaching us a profound lesson. There are times when consequences for bad behavior must be carried out. However, we are not meant to define a person by their wrongdoing. Instead, we are encouraged to see the rationale behind their actions.
When the Torah speaks about hanging on a tree, it is not only describing an act, but more importantly, it is conveying an attitude. The “tree” should be understood as a reference to the original tree, the one from which Adam and Eva ate, and as a result, introduced the potential for human struggle and failure into the world.
This does not remove responsibility from us, but it does place the behavior into context.
After someone sins, the person is still seen as G-d’s creation, and therefore deserving of dignity. That is why they are not left hanging over night, but are taken down and given a proper burial soon thereafter.
This message applies to our own lives as well. When a child misbehaves, there may be consequences, but we should also look beyond the action itself. We should try to understand what may have influenced their behavior and respond with compassion alongside accountability.
This perspective is not limited to our children. It can shape how we view others, and even how we view ourselves. Even when judgment is necessary, it should always be carried out with kindness.
Shabbat Shalom