Everyone makes mistakes. When we make a mistake, we don’t want to dwell on our error. But there are people who feel the need to keep on talking about the mistake – to your face and behind your back – reminding you of your failure. The Torah teaches us that this is wrong. Still, people find reasons and justifications for their behavior—after all, they feel they are standing up for justice! We have principles, expectations, and perspectives on life that we may feel everyone should follow. But are we right? Is our behavior righteous or are we just justifying what we are doing?
The Torah portion we read two weeks ago was clearly against talking negatively about others. But can we ever justify such talk as “constructive criticism?” No. Because The Ethics of the Fathers teaches us that not only should we not judge others until we are in their shoes, but even then, we must only judge positively.
However, we must ask ourselves: Are we not still judging?
This week’s Torah portion, Emor, teaches us a very important lesson.
The word Emor means, “say.” This prompts us to ask why the extra “say” is used in this text – “say to the kohanim, the sons of Aaron, and say to them …,” rather than the more common verbiage of“G-d spoke to Moses, saying, Tell the Kohanim (priests) …”
We must learn from this that the Torah is teaching us a deeper lesson. In addition to knowing the laws, we are as obligated to learn how to speak to others in a positive manner. Not only should we not say something negative about someone, we should find good things to say about them. Even more so, our positive words will give the person the strength to overcome the negativity in their lives. They don’t need us to remind them of their shortcomings. Just by the act of speaking positively, we will be elevating them and by doing so, they will rise to the occasion and do the right thing.
Think about it this way: The fact that a person transgressed means that their soul could have overcome that transgression; the fact that they failed shouldn’t undermine their ability to have succeeded. So, look at the upside—that person has it within them to be great.
Give them the chance! Give them support! How? By speaking positively. This is ultimately why the week’s potion is called Emor— because we need to “say” out loud the good we see in others.