It is human nature that we all have fears and insecurities. The question is, should we hide this fact or share it?
On the one hand, when we share our weaknesses and our vulnerabilities, we open ourselves up for positive feedback and advice; on the other hand, we also open ourselves up to ridicule. Even worse, the possibility then exits that others can take advantage of us.
In this week’s Torah portion we learn about the king of Moab, Balak. He reveals an insecurity – that he is unsure how to fight the Jews – when he asks the leaders of Moab for advice. He sees this act as a good thing, so that he knows how best to conquer the Jews. Yet, we see in the story that the people of Moab become very scared. The fact that their king was looking for advice worked against him, because it was perceived as a weakness, not as a sign of strength. What should have he done?
Let’s contrast Balak’s behavior with the previous Lubavitch Rebbe, whose liberation from a Russian prison and exoneration from the death penalty is celebrated yesterday and today. When the Russian interrogators faced him, he showed not one bit of fear. He stood up to them and let them know that he didn’t fear them at all. The stronger he acted, the weaker they became. He wore them down, not the other way around.
From this example we see that when faced with our inner insecurities – which is natural – we have to publicly suppress them. We look fear in the face, and make it go away. Yes, at times we need to talk to someone about our challenges, sometimes even a professional, but we do that in private, not in the public square.
We don’t have to ignore our faults, but we have to make sure that they don’t define us. We can be in charge of how we define ourselves. When we project a sense of strength, we become strong. When we project a sense of weakness, we become weak.