One of greatest pleasures in life is when you ask someone to do something for you and they do it. This stands true if this person is your spouse, child, friend, or employee.
The question is, what degree of pleasure do you derive from performing this act?
Seemingly, the more the person being asked to do a requested act appreciates the outcome of what they are doing, the less it is being done for the requester, and the more it is being done for themselves. True the result is the same, and the benefit should be appreciated. But let’s be honest—what degree of pleasure do you draw from an act that is being done for you, if the person is actually enjoying doing it?
Or to phrase the question a little differently, do you get more satisfaction if a favor is being done 100% for you, or if only 10% is for you but 90% is really for the person who is doing it?
Is it only the narcissist who wants 100% pleasure? Or, perhaps, is it also a way to test someone's commitment to another?
This is another way of understanding the difficult question as to why G-d commanded the Jewish people to bring animal sacrifices to the Temple, as discussed in this week’s Torah portion. If the people would have consumed the animal meat, we might have an easier time understanding the laws. However, most of the offerings had the majority of the animal burned on the altar! For what? The Torah tells us why: “For a pleasing aroma to G-d.” Really? G-d likes the smell? There must be something deeper going on here.
This “pleasing aroma” is a term for when we do something that we take zero pleasure in doing for ourselves, but nevertheless do it for one reason and one reason only: because G-d asked us to do it. We are showing G-d that we are listening to Him and we are acting because He asked us to. We are letting Him know that our relationship with Him is not 10% / 90% or some other equation, but that we are 100% committed to Him and we will do anything that is asked from us, whether it makes sense to us or not. This is what is a “pleasing aroma” to G-d.
“Sacrifices” in Hebrew is Karban, which literally means, “to come close.” The idea is to come close to G-d, to put our egos aside and do what G-d wants, even if we don't understand why.
As we near Passover, a time when families get together, it is important to keep in mind that we have to put other people's needs before our own. It is a time when G-d asks a lot from us (no bread for the duration of the holiday of Pesach, e.g.). It is a time to put G-d’s requests before our own needs. Give it a try. Do something for another before yourself. Give it 100% and you will see that you, too, will benefit.