Imagine getting into a relationship knowing in advance that you plan to get out of it. Would you call that a commitment to the relationship or just a pledge? Surprisingly, some people might even call that a marriage.
Interestingly, Jewish law prohibits one from getting married if they don’t plan to stay married for life. Yes, there is a way out if it doesn’t work and, in this week’s Torah portion, we read about the laws of divorce, but that cannot be in the plan as the couple starts off under the chupah.
Yet, we may ask the question, why not? Why must we make a commitment for life? Isn’t it enough if we promise to “give it a try?”
After all, G-d Himself did that with the Jewish people when he chose us as his nation. He made a commitment and then kept on second-guessing Himself, asking Moses, “Should I exchange this nation for another one?” Is that the way one talks when they have made a lifelong commitment?
Clearly, G-d did make a lifelong commitment to the Jewish people – as we made to Him – and the evidence is right in front of us. The fact that we, G-d’s children, are still here, preparing for the High Holidays for the 3,300th time tells us something. True, we might have a rocky marriage at times, but the thought of divorce? Never. Not from G-d’s perspective and not from ours. Does G-d ever get upset with us? Clearly. Do we ever get frustrated with G-d? Naturally! Is that to be expected? Obviously—we are human, after all. But that is beside the point. What matters is the underlying commitment that we have to this relationship.
Since this commitment is here as a nation, we have an obligation to be honest with ourselves as individuals, and ask - Are we in this for life or is this just a trial run?
Contemplate this question as you sit this year during the High Holidays services. Consider yourself under the chupah with G-d: Are you trying it out or are you committed for life? Our attitude matters as we ask G-d for a blessed new year. As our appeal goes, so do the blessings in return.
Shabbat Shalom and Shana Tova U’metukah!