What is it like to be a mom?
A mother cares about her children. She will go out of her way at any time of the day or night. She will leave the comfort of her bed in the middle of the night to soothe a crying baby; she will run out of the house or place of work because a child is not feeling well at school; she will literally drop anything and everything even when her adult child calls for advice. Because that is just what a mother does.
And, it does not stop there. A mother is there for her children even after death, as we learned in the Torah a few weeks back, when Rachel was buried “on the side of the road” so that her children, throughout the ages, could “stop by” and pray. As the verse says: Rachel cries for her children.
This makes us wonder: In this week’s Torah portion, when Jacob was about to die, he called his son Joseph, Rachel’s son and viceroy of Egypt, and asked him to promise that he would be buried in the Tomb of the Patriarchs in Chevron. Why did Jacob feel the need at the time of this promise to justify to Joseph why he buried his mother on the side of the road and not in Chevron? If he thought that Joseph needed an explanation, why didn’t he explain this years before?
Jacob was teaching his son a very important lesson about the essence of the Jewish mother (not just his own). The role of a Jewish mother is to set the tone of the home, ensure the education that the children will receive, and guide toward the direction in life that they will follow, even as adults. This is the role of the mother. A Jewish mother never rests. That is why Rachel was buried on the side of the road. The “technicalities” of not being able to reach the city of Chevron may have been true, but that was not the underlying reason. The lesson that was derived from the location of her burial was what was most important, and that was what Jacob wanted to impart to Joseph.
Yes, Jacob wanted Joseph to guarantee that he would be brought to Chevron to be buried together with his forefathers, as fathers also contribute to the family dynamic. The fact that he would be buried with his father and grandfather shows the significance of family lineage, but the essence of who you are, what you are made of, your soul, that comes from your mother.